A Caroline Update!

Here's a C.J. blog post for our friends and family across the states!

No theology!

No pontificating!

No weird questions or spiritual ramblings!

Just Caroline Jane Miller... 100%!

Our 'lil nugget will be 14 months a day after Thanksgiving! Here are some of Caroline's favorite things. She loves the following:

1. Food! Yup. Taco Tuesday is a must for anyone who comes to visit us BTW! C.J. is 95% in weight! She might play for the Broncos next year and take Von Miller's job. You've all heard about teenage boys eating you out of the kitchen. Well, C.J. eats more than most adults. She's that kid at the park who eyes the other toddler's snack and then mooches... kinda embarrassing, but it's all healthy and she's a super cute eat-er! Speaking of park...

2. The Park! Platt Park is our neighborhood park just a block down the street. We love it! Swings, a merry-go-round, sand, slides and lots of little friends that I've grown to love. If the weather is fantastic (which it has been most of time for the past 6 months), we go 2-3x/day!

3. Play group! We meet with about 6-8 other babies on Mondays and Wednesday (4-5:30pm). We love going to Addie and Mason's house.

4. Book Babies! The library is next to the park, and every Wednesday and Thursday (11:15am), a bunch of stay at home parents (mostly moms) take their babies for some group reading, singing, dancing and playing! It's the cutest thing in the world. C.J. loves the stairs at the library. She's a great climber.

5. Laughing with mommy! We make the most of our time when Lauren is off of work and able to play with the family. Mommy is the comedian of the family. Caroline thinks Lauren is freakin' hilarious.

6. Dogs! She's fascinated with them. She's actually gotten to be pretty good with being gentle with our tiny wiener dogs too. She lets me know about every dog we pass on our walks.

7. Cookie Monster! He's her favorite toy. He's almost as funny as mommy. I will admit. I like Cookie Monster too.

8. Dancing! Move over Miley Cyrus. We've got a new twerker in the U.S.A. Yup, C.J. likes to shake her rump. We also like to, "Throw our hands in the air... hands in the air!" Tons of fun.

9. Songs! We've gotten to learn a lot of songs at Book Babies. Caroline is getting the hang of hand motions. It's priceless to watch her do "head and shoulders, knees and toes..." along with "the itsy bitsy spider" and "open, shut them."

10. Words! She's starting to talk quite a bit now. She'll stack blocks if I say, "Let's stack blocks." She'll go her books when I say, "Let's read a book." C.J. definitely understands a lot of what we say, but now she's really cranking out he words, which are the following:
- daddy
- dog
- hat
- hot
- ball
- diaper
- es (means, Rufus, her lovie)
- no :(
- i love you... = "i ooo"
- bye bye
- momma
- hi
- head
- ears (although she thinks eyes are ears too)
- nose
- duck
- 'dat? (what's that?)
- baby

11. Chase. We play peek-a-boo and chase a lot. While she's been taking steps since 11 months, C.J. still won't walk. She would rather "knee walk", which is pretty stinkin' cute. Plus, I can still keep up with her.

One of the most precious things that she does when Lauren is home is grabbing our heads and pushing them together to watch us kiss with a BIG SMILE! I love it. It's so healthy for her to see that too. If you have a child, kiss and cuddle with your spouse in front of your kid often.

I absolutely love our little family. We will be excited once residency is finished and we can have a more "normal" life again. Yet, it's been such a privilege for me to stay at home with Caroline. These 3 years will be the most unexpected blessing; a true gift I never knew I needed, but is shaping me in ways I don't even know.... I love my 'lil Denver nugget!

What if...? Being a Stay-At-Home Dad, digging Open Theism, sitting at the Rabbi's Feet & Breaking Bad!

The other day I was wondering, “Did we make the “right” decision?”

This lingering question isn’t new or alarming to anyone on any given day, as it’s the haunting question that everyone wonders throughout life’s crazy journey. Humans second guess themselves all of the time, whether after buying a new car, taking a new job, moving or simply wondering, “What would our world have been life if ________?”

We make decisions every day that have small and massive, rippling effects on the trajectory of our lives as well as minor and large consequences effecting the world around us.  I remember when Lauren and I made the decision to pursue medicine many years ago. We were sitting in our house just 2 blocks from where we live today. Lauren said, “I think I know what I want to do. I want to be a doctor.” After several years of tests, closed doors that seemed firmly locked, the perseverance paid off. We knocked down some heavy walls, kept patient, paid our dues and here we are 11 years later... we still wonder, "Did we make the right decision?"

"What if...?" 

In the last year +, we had a baby girl and moved to Denver. I made the decision to stop working as a local pastor and stay at home with Caroline while Lauren started her internal medicine residency that will last 3 years. These decisions are multilayered that go back to 2008. We sold our home, left our community and unknown possibilities of church planting in San Antonio, moved to Dominica and began a whole new journey. We made the decision for Lauren to have heart surgery 3 years ago when her conditioned worsened, made another big decision to move to New York City, and one more to move back to Austin with our family for the first year of Caroline’s life.

Every now and then we wonder, “What if ___________?”

What if we stayed in San Antonio 5 years ago?

What if we never left Denver 11 years ago?

What if we chose not to undergo heart surgery 3 years ago?

What if we didn’t move to New York City after heart surgery?

What if we stayed at Liquid Church and didn’t move to Austin for that last year?

What if we decided to stay in Austin with family just a few months ago?

I’ll be pretty honest. These questions will drive you crazy if you sit on them for too long.

I believe in both a sovereign, omniscient deity who knows every single possibility of any decision we will every make along with believing that he never manipulates or coerces his creation to make decisions outside of their free will. This position is called, the “open view.” Essentially, the LORD is still sovereign (a big misconception some use against this particular view), but our decisions have a huge effect on the complicated day-to-day issues of this chaotic yet beautiful world. The LORD intervenes, redeems and works with us every step of the way. He's not a clockwork, hands-off deity. However, this view doesn’t hold to “one way” of doing things… there are thousands of unlimited options at our disposal. It’s kind of like the children’s book series, “Choose Your Own Adventure,” but of course, with way more options. If you want to read about Open Theism in more detail, check out this book, “God of the Possible,” by Greg Boyd.

I'm a believer in our choices. So, what does it mean for us to “choose what is better?”

My father in law, Doug, typically gives Lauren and I advice from his father regarding an example with 3 paths/ decisions. You’ve probably heard the scenario at some point, and you’ve most likely “been there – done that” and wondered, “Hmmm???” Someone is standing at a “crossroads” decision, and there are three, significantly different paths to take, but they all look like pretty decent paths. One prays, seeks counsel and weighs the pros and cons, but still has no discerning clarity on the matter. At this point, Doug’s father in law said (I’m paraphrasing), “Perhaps it doesn’t matter what decision you make as long as you seek the LORD and live out His “will” in your life.” And when we speak of “will” we aren’t talking about the “destined road” or fate; but ultimately the things we all know to be his will: a life of love, joy, peace, faithfulness, hope, etc.

The writers of AMC from shows such as “The Walking Dead” and “Breaking Bad” understand this complex concept well, as the complicated and dark characters are always making “BIG” life altering decisions that beg the viewer, “What would you do if A.) You have X amount of food during a Zombie Apocalypse and didn’t’ trust person A on the fringe of “Team Prison?” or, “What would you do if you were Walter White, a brilliant chemist with lung cancer looking to provide for your family?”

If you were Walt, cook some crystal, right?

If you were Rick, take out Shane, right?

Alright, you might not be cooking meth or killing zombies, but these shows do speak to our human will. Hey, “Breaking Bad’s” Walter White, an extreme example of bad going really BAD due to poor but complicated decisions under the “Murphy’s Law” theory, is a man with massive problems that are basically rooted in his freakin' ego. Walt never believed in taking any sort of charity. He made $$$$ as a drug manufacturer to provide for his family because the running theme for Walt is subversively linked to the American man, “A man provides… A man provides" (which sadly, equates to just making $.). I know the example of cooking meth might be far fetched, but the character, Walt, believed that he was doing what was best for his family as he saw it, making hard earned cash. While it’s easy for the viewer of the drama series to go, “Walt. Don’t do it! You are digging yourself into a deeper hole with that decision.”, it’s really easy to understand why he made the decisions he made along the way as it speaks to our every day decisions, both big and small.

The Walt factor that is within each one of us reminds me of a scene in Luke’s Gospel:

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her. (10:38-42).

This passage drives most of us BAT-$#*! crazy in real world time. How did Mary “choose” what was better, while clearly, Martha provided for Jesus and the disciples and was concerned with “practical” and “godly” things such as serving the Messiah. I’ll be bluntly honest. As a man living in the United States, I often feel the pressure of “Walt” to “provide” for my family in the ways we've been told by society. I often feel the struggles of uber-busy Martha, just wanting to "work" (in the traditional sense), serve others (in the churchy sense) and do what is “right” (in who knows what misconceived and ludicrous "sense") and not appear “lazy” like Mary, who was just "sitting at Jesus’ feet" (...because this "will" thing is often about "pride" for most of us if we were truly honest.).

To sit at Jesus' feet is an extraordinarily profound 1^st Century statement, though. This means to be engaged in discipleship. Sitting at a Rabbi’s feet was a Hebrew idiom for following a Rabbi, devoting one's entire life to his mission. Let me clarify before anyone makes unhealthy conclusions and parallels … there was nothing wrong with Martha taking care of everyone and serving in the kitchen. Hey! That’s what I do every day now (Totally guilty of telling Lauren, "Would it hurt you to put your dish in the dishwasher every now and then?")! The “wrong” was the prideful posture of her heart as mine on any given day. Martha could have made a fine, Pinterest meal, cleaned the houe to Martha Stewart perfection and washed every dish in Israel, but her heart was in the wrong place as she failed to “sit at the Rabbi’s feet” and begin her acts of service with relational humility that begins with the source of every decision under the sun.

This reminds me of the apostle Paul’s description of the gifts given to the body of Christ. We can do amazing things… preach the paint off the walls of a church, feed the poor, be martyrs, speak in tongues, and change some killer diapers (NewRyan'sVersion), etc. but if we don’t’ have a 'lil thing called love, NOTHING matters! Nada! I think this is what it means to “choose” what is "better." It’s not as if the choice of staying at home with Caroline is more righteous than not staying at home. It’s not as if Lauren is doing what I should be doing. It’s not as if our roles were reversed everything would be in sync with the LORD’s will. Whether we made the decision to stay in Austin, NYC or _________ isn’t really the point. The crossroads decisions are all important, and we should never take them lightly. Counsel, prayer, etc., is all good. But the point is beyond the decision. 

The point is about sitting at Jesus’ feet before we choose a path... before we "choose our own adventure." 

In addition, I'll add that the point to sit at the Rabbis' feet doesn't stop after the decision is made. Whether you are a stay at home parent or work out of the house 5-6 days/week, we have to choose to sit with our Rabbi, abide in Him and walk each day with Him.

There are days when I wonder, “What the hell am I doing?”

Lauren asks the same thing. We talk it over, get perspective. Press the reset button and walk on.

Then, I look down at my little nugget, Caroline Jane Miller, and I know exactly what I’m doing even if I'm clueless on most days. I’m sitting at the LORD’s feet, and in this season of our lives, sitting at his feet looks like being the best stay-at-home dad I can be, not for the sake of pride, but for the sake of loving my family with all of my heart, soul and strength. 

Did we make the right decision? 

For this particular season and stage in our life, INDEED!

Believe In Yourself!

Caroline enjoys books. This is good news, especially since mommy and daddy love books too.

Her favorite book this month is titled, “Things You Can Be: When You Belive In Yourself,” by Benecia Aronwald & illustrated by Jill Weber. Here’s the kicker. This book was given to Lauren by one of her best friends, Lauren “Lovin” VanderMeer. Lovin must have given this to my wife when Lauren started her medical school journey. It’s fantastic for adults and kiddos on many levels. Here’s what I love about this book.

1. It’s both fun and deep! I can see why Caroline is fascinated with the little gem with all of its bright pictures. Of course, it rhymes, which I’ve found to be the magic formula behind children’s books (i.e. ALL Dr. Seuess books!)

2. It’s really spiritually sound while not having any biblical, religious or “Jesusy” language.

There might be some feisty Christians who have an issue with its primary message because it talks about believing in oneself and chasing one’s dreams. The “self” seems to be the primary character in this book. Here’s the rub. There are many Christians who spend quite a bit of time revolted by oneself and others along with slaying the obvious consumer mentality of the narcissist western world while shouting, “It’s not about you because YOU suck!!!,” seemingly loving to revel in the doctrine of original sin and one’s total depravity. Okay, there is a thread of truth in this argument. Still, I’d like to express my thoughts on why an over exaggeration and extreme posture on this depravity doctrine and the sheer sinfulness of humanity can actually get in the way of the gospel message (gospel = good news!). To preface, I’m not discounting sin. Everyone would agree, Christians and nonChristians alike, that humanity is prone to wickedness, evil and filth on any given day. Just watch the news, right?

Still, the fullness of the gospel message is about redemption and getting back to the focal point of the biblical narrative vision, which starts with the words, “very good," referring to US, human beings! We neglect to start with the true source of goodness, our Creator, who fashioned us in his image, making us His beloved sons and daughter. We were actually created to do good works as raging love-aholics who bring peace and joy to this world. 

Yet, what many people hear is, “YOU ARE AN UTTER SINNER! YOU ARE BAD! YOU ARE EVIL. SO, REPENT!” (which, in my opinion, seems to backlash and NOT work due to so many kids within a lot of Christian circles who have entirely left the church altogether). I remember kids in Dominica who would shout out to one another with the words, “YOU are eeeeevil!” I would often come alongside these children (whose dreams and self image were typically shattered) and say, “No, you are beautiful. You did something you should not have done, but YOU are not evil or wicked."

I feel like there is a sin management gospel that has been infiltrated into our world that just doesn’t work. We try to manage our sins like a checking account. And, when we do this, we often focus on our dirt and grime while neglecting to see who we truly are, people of beauty! First off, the sin raging, angry "You are bad!" word is simply a bad gospel message, which is ultimately, NO gospel message. I can give you a list of adults who heard a bad gospel message, and who no longer have any interest in the church due to fear, shame and guilt-ridden tactics. Second, the last time I checked even the apostle Paul (who was hard on himself) said, “It’s the kindness of the LORD that leads us to repentance” (Romans 2:4). Jesus is seen, time and again, leading people to change with kindess, encouragement, coming to one’s side and saying, “You can do this! You are a rock star!” Sometimes, the church can mistakingly give people a half gospel (at best) when we say, "Put your faith in Jesus, sinner!" and neglect to tell them to have the faithfulness of Jesus because they are created in His Father's image! One of the gravest sins (according to 2nd Century Rabbi Akiva) is to tell people to believe in G-d but to fail to tell people that G-d actually believes in them. Yes, YOU can do it! You've got the biggest cheerleader in the entire world on your side. 

Our ‘lil nugget turns 1 on Sunday!

 

I’m going to continue to provide a message in our home of, “YOU CAN DO IT!” & "BE the someone you always dreamed you could be" in the face of a world that is going to tell her, “NO! YOU CAN’T!” I am going to err on the side of grace, hope and unconditional love. She will be available to reach for the stars as she was created to shine bright as the stars in the sky. We are going to watch Cookie Monster videos that make us laugh because it's both fun and deep. Guess what? There’s great spiritual message in Cookie Monster’s videos too. Don’t believe me? Watch ‘em… there are nuggets of spiritual wisdom for my ‘lil nugget on Sesame Street.

Keep reading! 

Keep dreaming!

Keep eating cookies with Cookie Monster! 

Keep telling your 'lil nugget, "Believe in yourself!" because Jesus is saying, "Yes, you can!"

ROAR with your Babies!

It’s time to teach Caroline how to ROAR! Thanks to Katy Perry for the means to dance and ROAR! Upcoming album…  #Prism #Stoked

Today, Caroline is 11 months old. Wow! Time flies. I know every parent says the same thing, but it’s so true. I already get weepy thinking about the day she will leave the house. All right, mom… I now understand why you always cry every time we leave Austin.

Caroline is growing leaps and bounds on many levels. I’m a proud daddy. I have the best job in the entire world. I get to stay at home and sing silly songs with my nugget. We have our traditional “Taco Tuesday” at  Adelita’s. I am blessed at the park every day watching her explore, meet new little friends, eat sand and laugh out loud on the swing or merry-go-round. Every morning, we get up at 6:30am, drink a bottle and cuddle in bed, feed the dogs, and then I make us eggs with some fruit! After exploring the living room, a little dance party with Katy Perry or Daft Punk, some stuffed animal play and perhaps a reading of “Hop on Pop”, we take our 8am moring walk where I get to pray out loud and speak Scriptures over Caroline. It’s a beautiful routine… all before 9am!

It struck me today as we were taking our morning walk… Kids in Syria are deeply hurting this morning. Families are weeping in war- torn countries. Children in Haiti and other 3^rd world countries are hungry and thirsty right NOW (To learn more about water issues in Haiti, go HERE! and donate, HERE! or HERE!). 

Many of my old little friends in Dominica don’t have a dad who will teach them the basics of life (To learn more about In.Light.In, the children's outreach program I started in Dominica, go HERE!.) 

Thousands of orphans in Russia are not being held. Many babies in the poorer, urban areas don’t have a father who will rock them to sleep and sing silly songs. A family in Austin just lost their little boy in a car accident (To help out the Nomura family today, go HERE!). The victims of Sandy Hook are still grieving the loss of their 5-year-old baby boys and girls.

I say all of this not to make us sad and depressed, nor to guilt and shame us go give toward a special cause, although these facts should make us prayerfully somber and missionaly active to some degree. I remind us of these situations so that we will learn to be more grateful for the opportunities we’ve been given each new day. Ever day is a gift. Every second we are able to spend with our child is heaven on earth. The glory of the LORD radiates through every meal, dance party, journey to the park, walk along the road and reading session.

Today, pray for those in other countries and families in America who are hurting due to sudden loss or “daddy”/ “mommy” issues. If you don’t have a child, spend some time today loving on a child or encouraging a parent who needs it.

Build up! Don’t tear down…

…& always, ROAR!!! 

5 Pictures: What Discipleship Looks Like...

Parenting is the closest thing to genuine discipleship.

The Sh'ma (Hear/Obey) is the blueprint for life. I've talked about the Sh'ma at length on a number of occasions. Go, HERE to learn more and see the bigger picture played out in 1st Century discipleship. 

We sing the Sh'ma in Hebrew and pray the full Deuteronomy 6:4-9 with Caroline every night. 

Discipleship is eating... 

It's reading... 

It's playing... 

It's teaching (Our mezuzah on the doorpost with the Sh'ma scroll inside.). Caroline loves to touch the mezuzah when we go in and out of the house... tangible lessons, indeed!

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. IMPRESS them on your children... Sh'ma!

Dr. Seuss to The Apostle Paul: Give Caroline A Pulpit!

Reading to your kid is a blessing both to the parents and the child. “Hop on Pop” is one of Caroline’s favorite books. She also loves, “Snuggle Puppy,” “My Little Cupcake” and Dr. Seuss's“The Foot Book.” Some day, in due time, the roles will reverse, and my sweet baby girl will be reading to me. She's already getting closer every day. I’m getting misty just thinking about it. And, one day, when Caroline is maturing and processing what she is actually reading, my princess will come across a couple of passages in the Bible, look at me, and say, “Daddy! What does this mean?”

 “A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.” – 1 Timothy 2:11-12

“Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.” – 1 Corinthians 14:34-35

Kids take things literally.

Some adults take the Bible literally too.

For all I knew, within the first 20 years of my life, the only thing women could do in a church was teach Sunday School, bake casseroles, play the piano or become a Children’s Director  (The title, “Children's Pastor” was too much even though most women pastor/ shepherd better than most men!) Women preachers were an oddity, seemingly liberal and possibly sacrilegious. There are some churches today that still won’t give women the title, “Pastor,” even though they have “pastoral” men on their staff who royally suck at that role as pastor. I really didn't know there were other options for women in the church.

It wasn’t until my junior and senior years in college where I began to seriously read the Bible in context. I’m still in the process of understanding Scripture with care and respect and have learned a great deal about hermeneutics, exegesis, eisegesis, Rabbinical midrash, and filtered all of that through years of church history and modern day reasoning with the Holy Spirit nudging me along the way. I’d love to say, “I’m right!” on a few theological issues, but “I might be wrong!” on many occasions (Keeps me somewhat humble!). Still, as I look back at where I was 5, 10 and 15 years ago, I wonder, “What was I thinking?”

That’s life, and that’s theology!

Everyone has a starting point. I consider myself an evangelical Christian to some degree, but I have a few bones to pick within this subculture. I think it’s time we WAKE UP! Don’t get me wrong. There are essentials in the historic, Christian faith that must be upheld. I like to believe that I’m above average when it comes to “agreeing to disagree” in love on other issues (and I feel as if I’m getting better at this the further I grow in Christ), but I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m pretty hard pressed on one specific “peripheral” issue.

You see… in the western church, we often talk often about agreeing on the essentials, and not letting the peripheral theological doctrines and variants divide the bride of Christ. Unity is so important. Christ died for our sins and brought us together as ONE people. So, to start, the cross is critical to being an essential. He rose again. Check! He will return. Amen! The Trinity. Yup! Typically, the Apostles Creed and/or Nicene Creed are vague enough for everyone to say, “Yeah! That’s great. We agree.” (Even though there are a plethora of interpretations within those creedal statements that are fun to dissect.)

The peripherals, non essentials, are typically the following: baptism, communion, predestination and free will, gifts of the Holy Spirit, and there’s a growing number of evangelicals who will extend this peripheral circle to talk about homosexuality, women in ministry, end times, heaven and hell.

I’m becoming increasingly eager every day to move the “women in ministry” topic out of the peripheral sphere and into the “fundamental” core of what it means to be a genuine follower of Jesus! Perhaps having a daughter has upped the ante in my book, but she's worth it! I can no longer be a "light" egalitarian voice. It's time to get more vocal and join other women who are in the trenches. So, c'mon gentlemen. You might think I’m crazy, and I might be wrong, but this particular issue is a serious one that needs to be addressed and seen in its full light in order for justice to roll like a river!

Bottom line: One’s anatomy should not factor in the equation within the local church! Sadly, it still does among many tribes… and, to me; this issue is legitimately worth the fight!

I heard a story of a woman who was asked to speak at a convention for pastors back in the late 1920’s. All of the “irreverent Reverends” stood up and turned their backs on her when she began speaking to the crowd. George W. Truett went up to the pulpit and ripped into these men for being disrespectful. I remember writing a paper about Truett at Baylor University. The seminary at Baylor is named after George for a good reason. Truett was a progressive radical in the Southern Baptist Church for his time, sitting as the President of the SBC from 1927-1929. Truett was one of the most significant Baptist preachers of his era, and I believe if he were preaching today, George would be on the front lines across the evangelical spectrum and other denominations leading the charge for progressive action regarding women in ministry!

My favorite college professor, Dr. Beck (a woman) paved the way in her generation and told us incredibly sad stories of women being disrespected during her seminary days in Texas. Young, aspiring male pastors would condescendingly ask her, “So, why do you want this degree? Do you want to teach children?” Women are still disrespected today, but mainly in the church.

Heaven forbid women have breasts and a brain!

Heresy if a woman can preach the paint off the walls!

Did you know that we live in a time where women can actually vote! That’s crazy, right? 

Scandalous! I'd say the Bible is more progressively, forward thinking & scandalously brilliant.

But speaking of today, women are doctors, lawyers, successful business owners, counselors, professors, politicians, etc., and someday say (5-15 years), we will probably see a woman in the White House.

I am raising a young girl and empowering her to reach for the brightest stars. Her mother is an amazing role model. If Caroline wants to be a doctor… GREAT! If she wants to be a teacher, lawyer, stay-at-home mom, chef, social activist or a rancher, GO FOR IT! And, if she wants to be a lead pastor, bishop, the first female Pope or a Messianic Rabbi, preach on soul sista’! I’ll be her biggest fan, indeed.

I’m not only raising my own flesh and blood, daughter, but I’m blessed and honored to raise a daughter of our good, heavenly Father (The King of Kings over all creation!). It is my deep conviction and belief that Caroline and every other woman can handle a pulpit on a Sunday morning if that is her calling and giftedness.

It’s time that men got their penises out of the way and stop downplaying the role of women in ministry. It’s time we take the Bible seriously, in full context. It’s time we look at the kingdom mission of Jesus who had female followers.

There’s nothing “complimentary” about telling women that they cannot serve as lead pastors or elders in my opinion! It’s downright offensive if you ask me. 

The same men who won’t allow women to serve as elders in their local churches (even though the early church had women elders), are seemingly okay with women leading other men in the “secular” sphere, thus, creating a dualistic worldview which is essentially hypocritical. How can one reconcile that position if everything and every realm is spiritual? A woman can lead a well-established cooperation, but cannot lead in a local church? 

Ludicrous!

I’ll be elated on the day when Caroline is old enough to critically think as a mature individual and asks me, “Daddy. What does this mean?” regarding those New Testament passages. I’ll unabashedly speak about the culture of Ephesus, and the Greek goddess Artemis, which influenced Paul’s words to Timothy as he ministered to the newly, converted Christians! Many Christians are simply unaware that Ephesus was actually a major, thriving city in the 1st Century. I’ll speak about the temple prostitutes in Corinth and why Paul had to write those words to the Corinthian church. Paul wrote to a variety of crowds and gave them instructions according to their specific culture. 

I’ll talk to her about the female heroes of our faith: Deborah, Esther, Miriam, Hannah, Mary of Magdala, and many more. I’ll show her passages of the first arrivers of the empty tomb, female prophets in the New Testament, Junia the apostle (BIG role for an early church leader!!!), Mary who sat at Jesus’ feet (SCANDALOUS for a 1^st Century Rabbi!), and I’ll point out the passages where Paul speaks of equality for all humankind!

There is no oppression in Christ!

There is no favoritism in Christ!

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, slave nor free, male nor female under the banner of Jesus, our risen Liberator!

So, I appeal not only to the women out there who are rocking the pulpits of America (You have done a great job in being patient with the male-driven church to “catch up” to speed!). I plead with the men of faith with the utmost passion and sincerity. 

Men of faith, it’s time we get our heads out of the freakin' sand. It's time we become a fundamentalist on this fundamental issue! It’s time we give respect where respect is due. It’s time we make this issue of vital importance because people matter, all people, not just those with a penis and testicles! Let’s raise daughters who will lead. Let’s build up strong women of character who will lead us, as fathers and husbands too, into the next era!

Read away and lead away....

All right, Caroline just got up from her nap. Time to read “HOP ON POP” for the 1,000^th time.

Mr. Mom?

Mr. Mom.

Stop!

Do I look like Michael Keaton?

Before you answer that question, Batman with Michael Keaton or Val Kilmer?

Sure, Michael Keaton nailed the role in both Batman and Mr. Mom. Mr. Mom was a very funny movie back in the 80’s. But for just a second, take a look at its juvenile portrayal of an incompetent man who can’t even do the freaking laundry. This movie became an omen of how stay-at-home dads would be perceived for many years.

Stay-at-home dads (SAHD) are usually looked down upon in America. Just being honest. We are the minority. When you meet someone, the first question people ask one another in the west is, “What do you do?” It’s a good icebreaker.. sort of. I remember telling a few people that I was going to stay at home with Caroline while Lauren was in residency, and they didn’t know how to react as if I was suddenly not talking plain English. I’ve had people say, “So, what are you really going to do?” I’ve had people call me, “Mr. Mom.” I’ve also had people speak to me like I’m taking over Lauren’s job. I know that silently there are people who think that men can’t nurture kids like a woman and won’t be able to emotionally take care of a baby’s needs. Loads of culture crap!

Sure, it’s a difficult transition, indeed. I’ve only been doing this for 2 months, and it most likely won’t be a permanent role for us post residency. Yet, I wonder why so many people have such a hard time digesting the fact that a man can not only wipe his own ass, but he can also change a diaper and put “Boudreaux Butt Paste” on his own baby’s ass. We don’t all look like Michael Keaton from Mr. Mom or Eddie Murphy from Daddy Day Care (Horrible movie BTW!). We can brush our teeth, buy groceries, pick out our own clothes, take out the trash, and mow the grass (Oh wait… Those last two are only for men right?!). We can even feed and bathe the baby, do the dishes, go to the park, pay the bills and even do a little blogging during nap-time! 

While television shows and movies have been making fun of men for years (I’ve enjoyed many of them over the years!), there’s something to be said about the major flaws and inconsistencies that have plagued our culture regarding the role of men and women. Some churches talk about men being emasculated for different reasons than I’m suggesting in this post. I think a "full set of balls" (metaphorically speaking!) are needed in order for men to be real men in the fullest sense, not just to hunt, fish and go on wild adventures. That’s all fine, but men are also incredibly emotional (It's true even if we don't admit it!), able to be nurtured and nurture others, and they are much more valuable to a household than simply becoming beer drinking, ESPN watchin’ dimwitted fools who are only good for bringing home the bacon! (Yes, I love beer and ESPN, but I don't eat bacon.)

As a SAHD, I’m honestly offended by the stereotypes represented in movies like Mr. Mom as well as television shows like King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond and The Simpsons that make men look like morons. As a man, this insults my intelligence, and if you were to really ask a woman worth her salt she’d straight up tell you that this is ridiculous too! It ain’t cute, men. I heard someone say that sitcoms are funny on a television, but they suck in real life. #TRUTH

Through a warped idea of gender roles rooted in a post Industrial Revolutionized America and onward through the "good 'ole days" of the1950’s with the ongoing “culture wars,” the church participated in many of these idiocracies reading the Bible “fundamentally” but way out of any sort of context when it comes to men, women and the roles each play inside and outside the home.

The Scripture that is often used as a defense for men needing to work outside the home comes from 1 Timothy 5:8, “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” A popular pastor along with his wife spoke about this issue of women needing to be at home and men needing to work in a Christian marriage. In my opinion, while there are a few valid points in the talk, some statements this pastor made are downright antithetical to the nature of Jesus and genuine, kingdom living. (You can view it, HERE! Be warned. You might get a bit angry. Breathe...).

For one, this 1 Timothy passage in context is stuck in the middle of Paul talking about taking care of widows, most likely someone in their own tribe. Understanding the family dynamic in the Middle East is crucial to see where Paul was going with this "providing" statement. Next, the word for “provide” in Greek (“Prono-eyo”) literally means, “to think before,” as Paul was talking about being cognizant of the provision of one’s family in an eastern, agrarian society. In addition, the word, "man" (one with testicles) is not even written in the passage. Paul is speaking to the family in general. Look it up! In no way does this passage imply that a man MUST make a paycheck outside the house. That would be a post Industrial Revolutionized construct thrown into this biblical teaching. This is why I'm continually adamant that Christians take the Bible seriously by reading its letters in context! In fact, kids grew up working with the whole family around the house back in the day. Men worked from home with their kids on the farm, etc. This meant that men actually used to spend a whole lot more time with their kids in Bible time. Think about it. A man working from home and/or taking his kids to work might be more biblical if we were to take the Bible literally! Guess what else? Women knew how to slaughter an animal and didn’t care about breaking their nails. Shocker! 

So, in our culture today in the west (which is very different from other cultures, especially the East 2,000 years ago), we still have to consider the biblical principle of what it means for a man to provide, but the landscape has drastically changed. This new way of looking at the world today doesn’t excuse men to stay at home, watch ESPN and put the kid in the playpen while not doing jack $#^!. Biblically speaking, you do whatever it takes to provide (YES!), but this is a holistic provision involving both mom and dad that is also deeply emotional and spiritual, not solely financial.

I’ll be honest. When Lauren and I met back in college and became serious in our relationship, neither one of us had any intention of staying at home. We talked openly about the weird gender roles, particularly played out in the South (We went to Baylor University for crying out loud!). By the time I was a senior, understanding that something was wrong with the cultural gender role idea within my own theological and biblical studies, I was already becoming an egalitarian with my views on women and their equal role in the church and at home. I knew that my wife was destined for something extraordinary, and she would say the same about me. We believed in one another’s dreams from the start, and as a couple who have been married for almost 12 years, through the ups and down, we’ve continued to encourage one another, both sacrificing in due seasons, bringing out the best in one another because it has never been a competition. We actually get sad when we hear that certain couples have to ask permission to do things. Domineering, power down structures are toxic in a marriage (Me Tarzan. You Jane!).

Some seasons I’ve made more $ (as a pastor, that tells you how “poor” we’ve been… yeah, it’s relative!), and other seasons she was banking and bringing home the fine wine. We’ve never made this role thing an issue in our marriage (I used to make bread in Dominica, though.), and yet we’ve seen this “breadwinning” conversation come up with other couples. It’s kind of ludicrous, and it seems to put both men and women in extraordinarily unhealthy boxes. A marriage is much more beautiful than these “roles” we put on one another. 

I’m actually good at doing laundry, but I hate to cook. Lauren likes to cook, but is horrible at keeping up with the laundry. I’m a spender and she’s a saver. I mow the yard, and she does the taxes. The list goes on… it’s a team effort. Not a male/female thing. Some seasons are different, and it seems like one of us does more work at home in a specific area depending on the particular season. This current season has been anticipated for a while, but with the newest addition, sweet Caroline, the ballgame completely changed.

Now, with Lauren as a resident MD in Denver, I made the decision that it would be best to stay at home with Caroline. Lauren would absolutely love to trade places with me, and maybe some day she will, but this is the beautiful and messy season we are in, and we are making the most of it. I’ve been told about youth ministry jobs, but I’m not interested. I have a congregation of one. If I can't disciple Caroline, nothing else matters. I could get a job, but it would be a wash and it would only pay for Caroline to be raised by someone else for these tough years while Lauren has crazy hours at the hospital. For our family, it made most sense for me to be Mr. DAD!

Not Mr. Mom!

Bottom line: Let’s give men back their true dignity: heart, mind, body and soul stuff!

Let’s give women their value and worth seen as equals in this world. We are all people made in the glorious image of our heavenly Father. When we mess with these roles and place our prescription of what it means to be a man and women upon others, we take away someone’s sacred worth.

I don’t think every family needs to have someone stay at home. And, I’m not advocating that men leave their jobs and stay at home. It’s a calling for both sexes. It's a couple's decision. It’s unique to each family.  It made most sense for us now. Everyone has their story and their convictions. But a deep conviction that is needed in our churches is to allow men to see that they are better than Homer Simpson and Ray Romano. We have feelings. We can nurture. We can still drink beer and watch ESPN if that’s our thing, but it’s time we put down gender slurs that go both ways. It's time we raise our kids, and show them they matter. You can be a hardworking man in the workplace (like both of my brothers-in-law, Scott and Barrett), whose wives stay at home. But these men make precious time for their children, and that is what is truly important. Their jobs are secondary to their families. My dad did the same for me, and coached all of my baseball teams as a kid. 

Man up, Mr. Dads! 

I’m learning new things about life, priorities, what really matters at the end of the day, and I couldn’t be prouder for my wife, the beautiful, strong, loving, doctor who is a fantastic mother. Caroline has a great role model in Lauren. In fact, we both talked about this strange transition tonight (as it is tough and new for both of us), and we are both ridiculously proud of one another. 

Whether you are a working mom at home or in the work place, a working dad at home or in the workplace (because it's all work!), at the end of our lives, your kids will answer these few questions about their childhood and your relationship. 

1. Did mom and dad love me?

2. Did they love one another?

And, hopefully...

3. Did they show this love of Jesus to the world around them?

Caroline's Animals Like 2 Party!

We love our 'lil animals in 'dis house!

I'm already teaching Caroline about the power of STORY, character development, a call to adventure, the conflict and hurdle to overcome, resolution (and eventually, we'll throw in the love interest). She thinks her talking animals are hilarious. I've added a few fan favorites over the past week. Here's the full gang. Enjoy! 

Bruiser, The Grizzly Bear. He's the "leading man," a bit tough and gruff, black and white, but very passionate! Don't mess with this fierce beast. Along the way, the domineering Bruiser will learn shalom, and not to fight like the world!

Oz, the fun lovin' Aussie Dog. He's essentially my mate, Aussie Dave Adamson, if I could stuff him up as a dog. Oz is the comic relief filled with wit and timely sarcasm. Oz keeps it real and fun! Sadly, for Caroline, she is going to think Australians sound like drunken Irish pirates. 

Here's Pola', The Polar Bear. He's a mix between Adam Sandler's, "Billy Madison" and Fozzie the Bear. Bruiser often tries to bully him, but don't think that Pola' will back down from a fight. Our next character usually comes to the rescue.

Meet Gerrie (also known as Sophie), The Giraffe. She's the peacemaker of the group. Gerrie is the one with the heart of gold. She's soft spoken, but when she speaks the gang listens. Okay, about that LOVE interest... she's already got an "interest" in our next player... 

Last, but not least from the Fab 5 is DJ, the Dacshund. He's an inspiration from our wiener dog, Hercules. DJ. means well and has a tender heart, but he's a cowardly, southern dachshund who is a bit clumsy at times. The other guys tease him quite a bit. He will overcome, not in hate, but in love! Gerrie tries to encourage DJ.

That's the original gang (Pola' was grafted in to the "clique"....). Recently, we've added a few more fun, accent-filled beasts to the par-tay.

Ducky, CJ's bath-time duck. He joined us from the tub to the living room because my best accent is ... well, it's always been Donald Duck. It's a favorite with 'lil kids. Ducky is a bit scrappy like my sister, but lots of fun.

Lamby has been around for a while, and she's yet to make any appearances in the big "show," but I'm working on her character to come out. She's shy, but I have a feeling she's gotta LION roar inside her bones. For the most part, she is the early morning riser with CJ. She's soft and cuddly.

Jazzy, the colorful dachshund, who also likes to go by the name, "Leon Phelps" - AKA - the ladies man. Jazzy will probably be censored by mommy. He's disgusting. 

Dobe (bad pic), the smart Indian ... no, I'm not stereotyping at all! :) Dobe is a "lovey" for CJ, but he looks like that dude from Harry Potter, and lately, Caroline has been really interested in curry. So, there ya have it. 

Last, but certainly not least is Rufus, the 'lil green bear. Rufus has become CJ's favorite character lately. She thinks he's really funny. Of course he is... Rufus is from Dominica, and Dominican accents are my all time favorites to butcher. 

MillerTime: Stay-At-Home Dad & The Nugget!

June 2, 2013 everything changed… yet again!

Say it with me out loud, “CHANGE!” I know it’s never easy to change, but we’ve gotten used to it in our household.

Normalcy in the Miller house consists of chips and salsa and loving on the San Antonio Spurs. That’s about it! We’ve been a small family on the move ever since April 2008 when we left San Antonio on this epic and wild journey. Now, with the addition of Caroline Jane Miller, we find ourselves in a brand new season with an even bigger adventure. 3 years of Lauren’s MD residency might not seem like a long time, but for us, that’s a lifetime! I’m super proud of Lauren. She’s killed it, and there’s not a lot of people who could have done what she’s done over the past 5 years. These next 3 years will be the most difficult, but I'm a big believer in my girl.

We are finally getting settled in Denver, CO, the city where Lauren and I lived when we got married nearly 12 years ago. We are living in our favorite neighborhood, Platt Park, just 1 block away from our old house. Caroline gets to hear her daddy tell stories as we stroll down “memory lane” and look forward to making new memories, meeting new people and finding joy with every sunrise.

12 years ago I never thought we’d be living here again. There’s a lot I never thought would happen, and if someone with psychic abilities were to have told me half of this stuff ahead of time, I would have freaked out. I’ve only known an "adult life" of full time ministry. Those days will be back again, but I’m in no rush at all... There’s a lot of ministry to be done outside the box of traditional, local church ministry. The first, primary job of this pastor starts at home!

While my full time job is no longer pastoring, teaching and discipling a bunch of people at a local church, this new role of being a pastor 24/7 to my daughter is really unexpectedly insane! I’m still a bit nervous about this new season, but I am convinced that this is what is best for our family during this time, to be a stay-at-home dad with Caroline! She’s my ‘lil disciple. She's the most important disciple I've ever had in nearly 15 years of doing this "discipleship" thing.

Caroline is my precious princess, my chubby little pumpkin and my funny little booger bug (to name a few)! I love my baby girl with wild abandon and relentless tenacity. I'm not a violent man (nearly a pacifist, actually), but I will hunt a man down if anyone thinks of hurting this girl.

This little nugget makes my heart melt. She gets me all weepy some days. We laugh a lot together, and I get to see new developments every single day. It’s quite amazing! I never thought being a parent would be so challenging, tiring and yet so incredibly beautifully profound on many levels. Lauren and I are truly blessed.

Most of my blogs are about theology, ministry, relevant issues and biblical ramblings. I’ll keep those MillerTime Ministries posts up and running … www.millertimejedidiah.blogspot.com. But this new blog site, www.millertimestayathomedad.blogspot.com, will solely be dedicated to my adventures with CJ! I realize there probably aren’t many stay-at-home dads out there (as I’m sure more moms will read these blog posts), but if you are like me, and called to be a stay-at-home dad, I’d love to hear from you (millertimeministries@yahoo.com). 

Tell your story! Write down these priceless memories during nap time, in between a load of laundry and the dishes. Some day, you can share it with your little cupcake. She'll love it.

Cheers to all of the stay-at-home dads out there. We might be small in number, but we are mighty in influence! Stay tuned for the adventures of MillerTime & The Nugget!

Peace