ROAR with your Babies!

It’s time to teach Caroline how to ROAR! Thanks to Katy Perry for the means to dance and ROAR! Upcoming album…  #Prism #Stoked

Today, Caroline is 11 months old. Wow! Time flies. I know every parent says the same thing, but it’s so true. I already get weepy thinking about the day she will leave the house. All right, mom… I now understand why you always cry every time we leave Austin.

Caroline is growing leaps and bounds on many levels. I’m a proud daddy. I have the best job in the entire world. I get to stay at home and sing silly songs with my nugget. We have our traditional “Taco Tuesday” at  Adelita’s. I am blessed at the park every day watching her explore, meet new little friends, eat sand and laugh out loud on the swing or merry-go-round. Every morning, we get up at 6:30am, drink a bottle and cuddle in bed, feed the dogs, and then I make us eggs with some fruit! After exploring the living room, a little dance party with Katy Perry or Daft Punk, some stuffed animal play and perhaps a reading of “Hop on Pop”, we take our 8am moring walk where I get to pray out loud and speak Scriptures over Caroline. It’s a beautiful routine… all before 9am!

It struck me today as we were taking our morning walk… Kids in Syria are deeply hurting this morning. Families are weeping in war- torn countries. Children in Haiti and other 3^rd world countries are hungry and thirsty right NOW (To learn more about water issues in Haiti, go HERE! and donate, HERE! or HERE!). 

Many of my old little friends in Dominica don’t have a dad who will teach them the basics of life (To learn more about In.Light.In, the children's outreach program I started in Dominica, go HERE!.) 

Thousands of orphans in Russia are not being held. Many babies in the poorer, urban areas don’t have a father who will rock them to sleep and sing silly songs. A family in Austin just lost their little boy in a car accident (To help out the Nomura family today, go HERE!). The victims of Sandy Hook are still grieving the loss of their 5-year-old baby boys and girls.

I say all of this not to make us sad and depressed, nor to guilt and shame us go give toward a special cause, although these facts should make us prayerfully somber and missionaly active to some degree. I remind us of these situations so that we will learn to be more grateful for the opportunities we’ve been given each new day. Ever day is a gift. Every second we are able to spend with our child is heaven on earth. The glory of the LORD radiates through every meal, dance party, journey to the park, walk along the road and reading session.

Today, pray for those in other countries and families in America who are hurting due to sudden loss or “daddy”/ “mommy” issues. If you don’t have a child, spend some time today loving on a child or encouraging a parent who needs it.

Build up! Don’t tear down…

…& always, ROAR!!! 

5 Pictures: What Discipleship Looks Like...

Parenting is the closest thing to genuine discipleship.

The Sh'ma (Hear/Obey) is the blueprint for life. I've talked about the Sh'ma at length on a number of occasions. Go, HERE to learn more and see the bigger picture played out in 1st Century discipleship. 

We sing the Sh'ma in Hebrew and pray the full Deuteronomy 6:4-9 with Caroline every night. 

Discipleship is eating... 

It's reading... 

It's playing... 

It's teaching (Our mezuzah on the doorpost with the Sh'ma scroll inside.). Caroline loves to touch the mezuzah when we go in and out of the house... tangible lessons, indeed!

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. IMPRESS them on your children... Sh'ma!

Dr. Seuss to The Apostle Paul: Give Caroline A Pulpit!

Reading to your kid is a blessing both to the parents and the child. “Hop on Pop” is one of Caroline’s favorite books. She also loves, “Snuggle Puppy,” “My Little Cupcake” and Dr. Seuss's“The Foot Book.” Some day, in due time, the roles will reverse, and my sweet baby girl will be reading to me. She's already getting closer every day. I’m getting misty just thinking about it. And, one day, when Caroline is maturing and processing what she is actually reading, my princess will come across a couple of passages in the Bible, look at me, and say, “Daddy! What does this mean?”

 “A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.” – 1 Timothy 2:11-12

“Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.” – 1 Corinthians 14:34-35

Kids take things literally.

Some adults take the Bible literally too.

For all I knew, within the first 20 years of my life, the only thing women could do in a church was teach Sunday School, bake casseroles, play the piano or become a Children’s Director  (The title, “Children's Pastor” was too much even though most women pastor/ shepherd better than most men!) Women preachers were an oddity, seemingly liberal and possibly sacrilegious. There are some churches today that still won’t give women the title, “Pastor,” even though they have “pastoral” men on their staff who royally suck at that role as pastor. I really didn't know there were other options for women in the church.

It wasn’t until my junior and senior years in college where I began to seriously read the Bible in context. I’m still in the process of understanding Scripture with care and respect and have learned a great deal about hermeneutics, exegesis, eisegesis, Rabbinical midrash, and filtered all of that through years of church history and modern day reasoning with the Holy Spirit nudging me along the way. I’d love to say, “I’m right!” on a few theological issues, but “I might be wrong!” on many occasions (Keeps me somewhat humble!). Still, as I look back at where I was 5, 10 and 15 years ago, I wonder, “What was I thinking?”

That’s life, and that’s theology!

Everyone has a starting point. I consider myself an evangelical Christian to some degree, but I have a few bones to pick within this subculture. I think it’s time we WAKE UP! Don’t get me wrong. There are essentials in the historic, Christian faith that must be upheld. I like to believe that I’m above average when it comes to “agreeing to disagree” in love on other issues (and I feel as if I’m getting better at this the further I grow in Christ), but I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m pretty hard pressed on one specific “peripheral” issue.

You see… in the western church, we often talk often about agreeing on the essentials, and not letting the peripheral theological doctrines and variants divide the bride of Christ. Unity is so important. Christ died for our sins and brought us together as ONE people. So, to start, the cross is critical to being an essential. He rose again. Check! He will return. Amen! The Trinity. Yup! Typically, the Apostles Creed and/or Nicene Creed are vague enough for everyone to say, “Yeah! That’s great. We agree.” (Even though there are a plethora of interpretations within those creedal statements that are fun to dissect.)

The peripherals, non essentials, are typically the following: baptism, communion, predestination and free will, gifts of the Holy Spirit, and there’s a growing number of evangelicals who will extend this peripheral circle to talk about homosexuality, women in ministry, end times, heaven and hell.

I’m becoming increasingly eager every day to move the “women in ministry” topic out of the peripheral sphere and into the “fundamental” core of what it means to be a genuine follower of Jesus! Perhaps having a daughter has upped the ante in my book, but she's worth it! I can no longer be a "light" egalitarian voice. It's time to get more vocal and join other women who are in the trenches. So, c'mon gentlemen. You might think I’m crazy, and I might be wrong, but this particular issue is a serious one that needs to be addressed and seen in its full light in order for justice to roll like a river!

Bottom line: One’s anatomy should not factor in the equation within the local church! Sadly, it still does among many tribes… and, to me; this issue is legitimately worth the fight!

I heard a story of a woman who was asked to speak at a convention for pastors back in the late 1920’s. All of the “irreverent Reverends” stood up and turned their backs on her when she began speaking to the crowd. George W. Truett went up to the pulpit and ripped into these men for being disrespectful. I remember writing a paper about Truett at Baylor University. The seminary at Baylor is named after George for a good reason. Truett was a progressive radical in the Southern Baptist Church for his time, sitting as the President of the SBC from 1927-1929. Truett was one of the most significant Baptist preachers of his era, and I believe if he were preaching today, George would be on the front lines across the evangelical spectrum and other denominations leading the charge for progressive action regarding women in ministry!

My favorite college professor, Dr. Beck (a woman) paved the way in her generation and told us incredibly sad stories of women being disrespected during her seminary days in Texas. Young, aspiring male pastors would condescendingly ask her, “So, why do you want this degree? Do you want to teach children?” Women are still disrespected today, but mainly in the church.

Heaven forbid women have breasts and a brain!

Heresy if a woman can preach the paint off the walls!

Did you know that we live in a time where women can actually vote! That’s crazy, right? 

Scandalous! I'd say the Bible is more progressively, forward thinking & scandalously brilliant.

But speaking of today, women are doctors, lawyers, successful business owners, counselors, professors, politicians, etc., and someday say (5-15 years), we will probably see a woman in the White House.

I am raising a young girl and empowering her to reach for the brightest stars. Her mother is an amazing role model. If Caroline wants to be a doctor… GREAT! If she wants to be a teacher, lawyer, stay-at-home mom, chef, social activist or a rancher, GO FOR IT! And, if she wants to be a lead pastor, bishop, the first female Pope or a Messianic Rabbi, preach on soul sista’! I’ll be her biggest fan, indeed.

I’m not only raising my own flesh and blood, daughter, but I’m blessed and honored to raise a daughter of our good, heavenly Father (The King of Kings over all creation!). It is my deep conviction and belief that Caroline and every other woman can handle a pulpit on a Sunday morning if that is her calling and giftedness.

It’s time that men got their penises out of the way and stop downplaying the role of women in ministry. It’s time we take the Bible seriously, in full context. It’s time we look at the kingdom mission of Jesus who had female followers.

There’s nothing “complimentary” about telling women that they cannot serve as lead pastors or elders in my opinion! It’s downright offensive if you ask me. 

The same men who won’t allow women to serve as elders in their local churches (even though the early church had women elders), are seemingly okay with women leading other men in the “secular” sphere, thus, creating a dualistic worldview which is essentially hypocritical. How can one reconcile that position if everything and every realm is spiritual? A woman can lead a well-established cooperation, but cannot lead in a local church? 

Ludicrous!

I’ll be elated on the day when Caroline is old enough to critically think as a mature individual and asks me, “Daddy. What does this mean?” regarding those New Testament passages. I’ll unabashedly speak about the culture of Ephesus, and the Greek goddess Artemis, which influenced Paul’s words to Timothy as he ministered to the newly, converted Christians! Many Christians are simply unaware that Ephesus was actually a major, thriving city in the 1st Century. I’ll speak about the temple prostitutes in Corinth and why Paul had to write those words to the Corinthian church. Paul wrote to a variety of crowds and gave them instructions according to their specific culture. 

I’ll talk to her about the female heroes of our faith: Deborah, Esther, Miriam, Hannah, Mary of Magdala, and many more. I’ll show her passages of the first arrivers of the empty tomb, female prophets in the New Testament, Junia the apostle (BIG role for an early church leader!!!), Mary who sat at Jesus’ feet (SCANDALOUS for a 1^st Century Rabbi!), and I’ll point out the passages where Paul speaks of equality for all humankind!

There is no oppression in Christ!

There is no favoritism in Christ!

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, slave nor free, male nor female under the banner of Jesus, our risen Liberator!

So, I appeal not only to the women out there who are rocking the pulpits of America (You have done a great job in being patient with the male-driven church to “catch up” to speed!). I plead with the men of faith with the utmost passion and sincerity. 

Men of faith, it’s time we get our heads out of the freakin' sand. It's time we become a fundamentalist on this fundamental issue! It’s time we give respect where respect is due. It’s time we make this issue of vital importance because people matter, all people, not just those with a penis and testicles! Let’s raise daughters who will lead. Let’s build up strong women of character who will lead us, as fathers and husbands too, into the next era!

Read away and lead away....

All right, Caroline just got up from her nap. Time to read “HOP ON POP” for the 1,000^th time.

Mr. Mom?

Mr. Mom.

Stop!

Do I look like Michael Keaton?

Before you answer that question, Batman with Michael Keaton or Val Kilmer?

Sure, Michael Keaton nailed the role in both Batman and Mr. Mom. Mr. Mom was a very funny movie back in the 80’s. But for just a second, take a look at its juvenile portrayal of an incompetent man who can’t even do the freaking laundry. This movie became an omen of how stay-at-home dads would be perceived for many years.

Stay-at-home dads (SAHD) are usually looked down upon in America. Just being honest. We are the minority. When you meet someone, the first question people ask one another in the west is, “What do you do?” It’s a good icebreaker.. sort of. I remember telling a few people that I was going to stay at home with Caroline while Lauren was in residency, and they didn’t know how to react as if I was suddenly not talking plain English. I’ve had people say, “So, what are you really going to do?” I’ve had people call me, “Mr. Mom.” I’ve also had people speak to me like I’m taking over Lauren’s job. I know that silently there are people who think that men can’t nurture kids like a woman and won’t be able to emotionally take care of a baby’s needs. Loads of culture crap!

Sure, it’s a difficult transition, indeed. I’ve only been doing this for 2 months, and it most likely won’t be a permanent role for us post residency. Yet, I wonder why so many people have such a hard time digesting the fact that a man can not only wipe his own ass, but he can also change a diaper and put “Boudreaux Butt Paste” on his own baby’s ass. We don’t all look like Michael Keaton from Mr. Mom or Eddie Murphy from Daddy Day Care (Horrible movie BTW!). We can brush our teeth, buy groceries, pick out our own clothes, take out the trash, and mow the grass (Oh wait… Those last two are only for men right?!). We can even feed and bathe the baby, do the dishes, go to the park, pay the bills and even do a little blogging during nap-time! 

While television shows and movies have been making fun of men for years (I’ve enjoyed many of them over the years!), there’s something to be said about the major flaws and inconsistencies that have plagued our culture regarding the role of men and women. Some churches talk about men being emasculated for different reasons than I’m suggesting in this post. I think a "full set of balls" (metaphorically speaking!) are needed in order for men to be real men in the fullest sense, not just to hunt, fish and go on wild adventures. That’s all fine, but men are also incredibly emotional (It's true even if we don't admit it!), able to be nurtured and nurture others, and they are much more valuable to a household than simply becoming beer drinking, ESPN watchin’ dimwitted fools who are only good for bringing home the bacon! (Yes, I love beer and ESPN, but I don't eat bacon.)

As a SAHD, I’m honestly offended by the stereotypes represented in movies like Mr. Mom as well as television shows like King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond and The Simpsons that make men look like morons. As a man, this insults my intelligence, and if you were to really ask a woman worth her salt she’d straight up tell you that this is ridiculous too! It ain’t cute, men. I heard someone say that sitcoms are funny on a television, but they suck in real life. #TRUTH

Through a warped idea of gender roles rooted in a post Industrial Revolutionized America and onward through the "good 'ole days" of the1950’s with the ongoing “culture wars,” the church participated in many of these idiocracies reading the Bible “fundamentally” but way out of any sort of context when it comes to men, women and the roles each play inside and outside the home.

The Scripture that is often used as a defense for men needing to work outside the home comes from 1 Timothy 5:8, “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” A popular pastor along with his wife spoke about this issue of women needing to be at home and men needing to work in a Christian marriage. In my opinion, while there are a few valid points in the talk, some statements this pastor made are downright antithetical to the nature of Jesus and genuine, kingdom living. (You can view it, HERE! Be warned. You might get a bit angry. Breathe...).

For one, this 1 Timothy passage in context is stuck in the middle of Paul talking about taking care of widows, most likely someone in their own tribe. Understanding the family dynamic in the Middle East is crucial to see where Paul was going with this "providing" statement. Next, the word for “provide” in Greek (“Prono-eyo”) literally means, “to think before,” as Paul was talking about being cognizant of the provision of one’s family in an eastern, agrarian society. In addition, the word, "man" (one with testicles) is not even written in the passage. Paul is speaking to the family in general. Look it up! In no way does this passage imply that a man MUST make a paycheck outside the house. That would be a post Industrial Revolutionized construct thrown into this biblical teaching. This is why I'm continually adamant that Christians take the Bible seriously by reading its letters in context! In fact, kids grew up working with the whole family around the house back in the day. Men worked from home with their kids on the farm, etc. This meant that men actually used to spend a whole lot more time with their kids in Bible time. Think about it. A man working from home and/or taking his kids to work might be more biblical if we were to take the Bible literally! Guess what else? Women knew how to slaughter an animal and didn’t care about breaking their nails. Shocker! 

So, in our culture today in the west (which is very different from other cultures, especially the East 2,000 years ago), we still have to consider the biblical principle of what it means for a man to provide, but the landscape has drastically changed. This new way of looking at the world today doesn’t excuse men to stay at home, watch ESPN and put the kid in the playpen while not doing jack $#^!. Biblically speaking, you do whatever it takes to provide (YES!), but this is a holistic provision involving both mom and dad that is also deeply emotional and spiritual, not solely financial.

I’ll be honest. When Lauren and I met back in college and became serious in our relationship, neither one of us had any intention of staying at home. We talked openly about the weird gender roles, particularly played out in the South (We went to Baylor University for crying out loud!). By the time I was a senior, understanding that something was wrong with the cultural gender role idea within my own theological and biblical studies, I was already becoming an egalitarian with my views on women and their equal role in the church and at home. I knew that my wife was destined for something extraordinary, and she would say the same about me. We believed in one another’s dreams from the start, and as a couple who have been married for almost 12 years, through the ups and down, we’ve continued to encourage one another, both sacrificing in due seasons, bringing out the best in one another because it has never been a competition. We actually get sad when we hear that certain couples have to ask permission to do things. Domineering, power down structures are toxic in a marriage (Me Tarzan. You Jane!).

Some seasons I’ve made more $ (as a pastor, that tells you how “poor” we’ve been… yeah, it’s relative!), and other seasons she was banking and bringing home the fine wine. We’ve never made this role thing an issue in our marriage (I used to make bread in Dominica, though.), and yet we’ve seen this “breadwinning” conversation come up with other couples. It’s kind of ludicrous, and it seems to put both men and women in extraordinarily unhealthy boxes. A marriage is much more beautiful than these “roles” we put on one another. 

I’m actually good at doing laundry, but I hate to cook. Lauren likes to cook, but is horrible at keeping up with the laundry. I’m a spender and she’s a saver. I mow the yard, and she does the taxes. The list goes on… it’s a team effort. Not a male/female thing. Some seasons are different, and it seems like one of us does more work at home in a specific area depending on the particular season. This current season has been anticipated for a while, but with the newest addition, sweet Caroline, the ballgame completely changed.

Now, with Lauren as a resident MD in Denver, I made the decision that it would be best to stay at home with Caroline. Lauren would absolutely love to trade places with me, and maybe some day she will, but this is the beautiful and messy season we are in, and we are making the most of it. I’ve been told about youth ministry jobs, but I’m not interested. I have a congregation of one. If I can't disciple Caroline, nothing else matters. I could get a job, but it would be a wash and it would only pay for Caroline to be raised by someone else for these tough years while Lauren has crazy hours at the hospital. For our family, it made most sense for me to be Mr. DAD!

Not Mr. Mom!

Bottom line: Let’s give men back their true dignity: heart, mind, body and soul stuff!

Let’s give women their value and worth seen as equals in this world. We are all people made in the glorious image of our heavenly Father. When we mess with these roles and place our prescription of what it means to be a man and women upon others, we take away someone’s sacred worth.

I don’t think every family needs to have someone stay at home. And, I’m not advocating that men leave their jobs and stay at home. It’s a calling for both sexes. It's a couple's decision. It’s unique to each family.  It made most sense for us now. Everyone has their story and their convictions. But a deep conviction that is needed in our churches is to allow men to see that they are better than Homer Simpson and Ray Romano. We have feelings. We can nurture. We can still drink beer and watch ESPN if that’s our thing, but it’s time we put down gender slurs that go both ways. It's time we raise our kids, and show them they matter. You can be a hardworking man in the workplace (like both of my brothers-in-law, Scott and Barrett), whose wives stay at home. But these men make precious time for their children, and that is what is truly important. Their jobs are secondary to their families. My dad did the same for me, and coached all of my baseball teams as a kid. 

Man up, Mr. Dads! 

I’m learning new things about life, priorities, what really matters at the end of the day, and I couldn’t be prouder for my wife, the beautiful, strong, loving, doctor who is a fantastic mother. Caroline has a great role model in Lauren. In fact, we both talked about this strange transition tonight (as it is tough and new for both of us), and we are both ridiculously proud of one another. 

Whether you are a working mom at home or in the work place, a working dad at home or in the workplace (because it's all work!), at the end of our lives, your kids will answer these few questions about their childhood and your relationship. 

1. Did mom and dad love me?

2. Did they love one another?

And, hopefully...

3. Did they show this love of Jesus to the world around them?